Have you been asking yourself lately, “What am I doing with my life?”
If so, I’m sorry to hear that. It’s a tough spot to be in but 100% get it.
We’ve all been there at some point and it can be scary if you don’t know how to move forward. You’re probably thinking about the future and not wanting to end up with regret.
You don’t want a future that is living the same day over and over again.
My breaking point came when I was working in the 9-5 world in 2016. As someone who is normally very positive and upbeat, I kept finding myself down and out.
Day after day, week after week. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. While it sucked feeling that way, the worst part was that I had no idea why I kept feeling so frustrated.
At the time I just purchased my first home, had a high paying job, and had plenty of friends.
Society had told me my whole life that was the key to happiness … right?
It was until it wasn’t.
Finally, after a few too many days of thinking, “What am I doing with my life” I realized it was my career. I was completely unfulfilled.
I worked my entire 20’s to earn money only to get the money and still end up unhappy.
Ah, the irony of life.
Maybe you’ve had a similar moment in your life. It could have been a job you hated, a relationship you wanted out of or an event that finally made you wake up.
If you’re struggling, keep reading so you can learn what do next. As Eric Thomas said, “It’s up to you to ‘Make the rest of your life, the best of your life.”
What Am I Doing With My Life?
If you keep asking yourself this question here are some ideas to help you gain clarity and find answers to one of the biggest questions you’ll ever face.
1. Get Clear on What You Want In Life
If you’re struggling in life the first thing you have to do is get clear about what you want. People seem to always know what they don’t want but rarely focus on what they do want.
I used to bitch and moan at work about how bored I was but never did anything about it. Or how I wanted to lose weight but kept eating the same shitty foods (although delicious).
If you want to change your life you have to get clear and establish WHAT YOU WANT. If you don’t have a target you’ll miss it every time.
This can lead to you wandering through life with no real purpose of who you are or what you’re doing.
How to Get Clear
The world is busier, louder, and more chaotic than ever before. It can feel hard to ever feel alone and at peace with yourself.
But if you want to get clear, you need to spend time alone. This might be scary for some of you. That’s okay, I used to have the same thoughts.
Let’s get real, its pretty much impossible to find out what you want in life if you’re always distracted or scrolling through social media. You have to slow down, put your phone on airplane mode, and make time for yourself. I learned this from the book, “Bored to Brilliant.” I highly recommend it!
Schedule this time out or it won’t happen. My favorite time to do it was in the morning as part of my morning routine.
Otherwise, it’s easy to keep pushing this time to later in the day, only to never end up doing it.
Listen to Something Inspiring
Sometimes you need to listen to the advice of others to know where you want to go. Check out these amazing motivational speakers to get in the right state of mind.
Once you are in a peak state, then you can get clear about what you want in life. For even more inspiration, check out the best motivational speeches too!
2. Who Are You Trying to Become?
Once you schedule time for yourself to think and listen to your thoughts you can finally figure out the biggest question.
Who are you trying to become in your life?
What do you want out of life?
Do you want to become a parent, CEO, entrepreneur or travel the world?
Start getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper. This is where journaling will come in incredibly useful.
If you keep all this in your head it’s easy to not focus on it and forget what you are trying to achieve. Doing a brain dump and by putting pen to paper.
This will help you get clear about your life’s purpose.
What Am I Doing With Life: 5 Questions to Figure It Out!
1. What is most important to you right now?
Identify your biggest passions. What do you love doing so much that you would do it for free? What interests you?
Which topic gets you engaged, motivated, excited to talk about with other people, even strangers?
2. What is your wish list of life?
What do you want and need in your life/career/relationship to make you feel fulfilled? This can include the people you want to be around, what environment you thrive in, and what you want out of your job/career/business.
3. What is the impact you want to make in the world?
Do you want to leave a legacy for your children? Build a brand that last centuries? How do you want to serve, contribute or add value to create a better society?
4. What are the core values that you have and look for in others?
What are the beliefs, guiding principles, and ideas that are extremely important to you?
5. Ask yourself, what your biggest skills and talents?
What is something you do easily that marvels others?
It could be a sport, playing an instrument, nailing interviews, hiring others. List anything you can think of in your journal.
Remember, this should be a fun exercise. Don’t think of this as tedious.
If you want things to change you have to change. If you want life to get better you have to get better, that’s the only way!
3. What Are Your Reasons? (Your “Why”)
Once you get clear and figuring out who and what you want to become, next you need to ask yourself WHY. If you don’t know WHY you’re doing all of this it will be very easy to quit.
And you will want to quit and go back to the safe, old version of you even if it’s one you didn’t like. It’s how the brain is programmed to work!
Because our brains hate change even if we are trying to make a positive change.
Change is scary because it signals to your brain that things might get uncomfortable. Your brain is millions of years old and has one basic setting — your survival.
Change is uncomfortable and scary.
This is why you need strong reasons (Your Why) to give you the motivation to push through the scariness of change.
Figure Out Your Why
Remember, your why is what energizes you, and everyone gets energized from time to time. Take note of what you’re doing and who you’re with when you feel this surge in energy; this is the essence of your WHY.
This could be fighting for your freedom out of a 9-5, your kids, parents, or a cause you want to help. And don’t be afraid to have more than one WHY. This was a huge mistake I first made!
Instead, stack as many reasons as to why you want to change. This will only help you stay motivated and persistent in changing to become who you want to be!
Maximizing this WHY comes down to recognizing its existence and being grateful for it. Never take for granted the moments when you feel most alive.
4. What Are Your Options?
If you’ve made it this far, the whole “What am I doing with life” question is long gone. Now, you know more of what you want to do and why you’re doing it.
This puts you ahead of SO many people who never spend the time doing these activities.
Now you need to figure out what are your options. How do you get from where you are to where you want to be.
You can do this a few different ways:
Talk With Someone You Trust
Discussing things out loud can help your brain find new solutions and approaches to help you get to your goal.
Hire A Coach
If there is something you want to do but don’t know much about it hire someone who has already done what you want.
Start Reading Daily
If coaching is too expensive or you’re still not 100% sure what you want in life start reading books. Books are peoples knowledge put in a few hundred pages to help others. Put down the remote and start reading or using audiobooks!
Check out my recommended reading list for some of the most life-changing books I’ve read.
Write In A Journal
Journaling is one of the most common habits of successful people. Don’t skip this as journaling can be an amazing way to collect your thoughts, program your subconscious, and help you achieve your goals.
I talk about this tons and dedicate a whole module to this in my “Win the Morning” Course.
Journaling has been one of the biggest tools in helping me get clear about my life and help achieve some big goals.
As Tony Robbins said, “If my life is worth living then it’s worth documenting.”
5. What Do You Want More of?
To help you figure out where to place your focus, you must first figure out two things: what you want less of and what you want more of.
You should have your reasons in your journal but get as specific as possible. Develop a more detailed picture of what does and does not constitute the life you want.
This will help shift your life in the right direction.
Grab a piece of paper and a pen and draw a vertical line down the middle of the page.
- In the left-hand column, write down all of the things that you want less of in your life.
- In the right-hand column, write down all the things you want more of in your life.
Keep this piece of paper on you, or put it somewhere prominent where you’ll see it often. Make a choice to think less about the things on the left-hand side. Then make a choice to act in a way that will bring you the things on the right-hand side.
Now this is very important, so pay attention: you should NOT focus your thoughts directly on the things you want more of, but rather on the things that can bring them to you.
Instead of getting bogged down in negative thinking about your lack of WHY, think about all of the positive action you could take to align with it again. Each action you take should become more enjoyable as you turn bit by bit towards the wind and your turbine blades begin to spin faster and faster.
How Can You Start Moving Forward
Alright, first off great job making it this far. You are seriously close to figuring out what you want out life. Now its’ time to do one thing, figure out how you can start moving forward.
Planning is great but too many people stop here. If you want to change your life you need to take massive action!
Taking action ends suffering. Action cures perfectionism. And action will help you start building momentum. Just start moving!
Don’t wait, you’ve been in this state long enough. Start taking action today!
One thing I’ve learned in my own personal development journey is that things will change over time. Your reasons, your passions, and everything else will change as you get older. And that’s okay, remember that life all about adapting.
The biggest thing I’ve learned in my journey is to always stay curious. The more you can learn and understand new things the more knowledge you will acquire. Plus, the old saying, “the more you learn the more you earn” is true.
While money won’t cure all, money will help get rid of one of the biggest things people stress about — money!
Lastly, remember this exercise doesn’t have to happen in a day. If you are completely lost and want to change your life immediately then you will want to do it sooner rather than later.
The goal is all about creating a life you love. One that you are proud of. It doesn’t have to impress anyone but yourself.
Don’t forget this epic Les Brown quote as beautifully said, “I don’t know you but I can tell you this. There is GREATNESS in you.”
Say that to yourself every morning and I promise you can figure it out. Let’s make the question, “What am I doing with my life” a thing of the past.
Stop suffering and start living. If I can help in any way please let me know in the comments 🙂
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